Here we are 3652 days later. I’ve known this day was coming for five years, and it still feels a bit surreal if I’m being honest. After the 5th anniversary show, I had numbered our internal tracking document all the way to year ten and show 500. The title simply said “The End?” It was an initial placeholder to check my feelings and my Why behind the show.
As the years marched on, I began to feel like we were moving towards this day, and in the last two years, it became a real focus point to hold off burnout and complacency. At the same time, the Passing the Baton Leadership podcast has been a part of almost 25% of my life. I can count on my hands how many things in my life have been that consistent in my personal journey. That being said, all things must come to an end, and today marks the end of our weekly time together.
Today, we’ll spend our time looking at those people and places that come and go in your life journey. We’ll examine how to internalize those moments and opportunities to make yourself better, and the legacy that you leave behind through your intentions.
The Flame is Gone
James McClanahan was a guy that I met on my first day of intake at Ft Jackson Army Base. We were both 20 at the time – he was finishing up school to help lead a Unit Ministry Team in the Army Reserves. We were attending the same school, and not only were we assigned the same class, but we were also assigned as battle buddies, which means we’d be at each other’s hip for the next 10 weeks. As luck would have it, we were a perfect match. I enjoyed every minute with him. We worked out together, studied, and were the charismatic comedy duo for our classmates. In our 1680 hours together, I was away from him for about 20 hours total.
At the end of school, most people had family picking them up, or the military would take them to the airport. James asked if I could take him, and of course, it was a joy to do so. We arrived at the airport, and I got out to help him with his bags, give him a hug, and say goodbye.
I’ve never seen him or spoken to him since.
My thoughts and feelings on relationships changed dramatically during those 10 weeks. I realized, despite how important a person can be and how much they mean and invest in you, that they will always fade away. Sometimes you know – James and I had a very clear point in time when we would part ways. Sometimes it hits you as a surprise – I’ve talked about the sudden passing of my dad (Show 483) as well as a formidable mentor of mine, Paul Herman, over the years on the show.
In our illustration for today, I think of these people as a flame. They burn bright in your life, often providing light and warmth to you, but they can also hurt you and leave lasting scars. We recently had a question that was sent in to the show that basically asked, “Why should I invest in my co-workers, when at the end of the day, they will move on and I will never see them again? It feels fake and superficial, because if it were real, we’d keep in contact afterwards.”
Understanding how relationships are finite helped me put things in a healthy perspective to squeeze every last bit of value out of our time together.
Internalize and come to grips with the finite – This was the biggest growth point for me. When you make peace with the finite, it makes the end much easier to process. It also enhances the value along the way as well, because you aren’t hesitant or apprehensive in investing time, resources, and vulnerable moments with the other person.
Invest in your community – The flame not only represents people; it also includes places and communities. Leave all regrets behind and do your best to fully involve yourself in your community that you are a part of. Go to the seasonal festivals. Dine at the local restaurants, and become involved in civic and volunteer organizations. People are important, but so is the community that you live in.
Leave nothing for tomorrow – Think about those times when you knew a flame was going out – perhaps it was a close co-worker moving on to another role, your best friend graduating from school, and relocating to another area, or a person in your extracurricular circle who was calling it quits. Did you do anything different towards the end? Make an effort to be intentional in all your interactions. “Should of, Would of, and Could of,” are the enemies here. Assess what you should be, would be, and could be doing with others and begin acting on them. Start with those you see the most and then move on from there.
Be thankful and show appreciation – As our friend Lee Cockerell says, “Always show Appreciation, Recognition and Encouragement to others.” (Show 200) It works well to show appreciation at the opening and closing of conversations to set a nice tone. Your appreciation doesn’t have to be long or over the top; just taking the moment to recognize someone goes a long way.
Just because a relationship is finite doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t invest in it. I believe that it’s quite the opposite. You should be investing more because you don’t know how long you have it for. I had no regrets about my time with James. He was an incredible friend and like a brother to me during our time. I moved away from Paul to open a new business and was at peace with knowing that I wouldn’t see him every day anymore. We would see each other on occasion for the next few years following, and it always felt like bonus time – special, but not the same as before.
The Fire Remains
Thinking about people and places as flames that go out can be a bit depressing if the story ended there. Thankfully, the people and places that you interact with leave a lasting impression on you. They may be gone, but their impact lives on in you – that is the Fire that Remains.
Think about those previously in your life and how they may have influenced you. For me, a few examples include:
My expressive reading style comes directly from James. We started doing it as a way to break up reading assignments in class to make them less boring and dull. Today, this is a key communication skill that I use nearly daily.
My attention to detail comes in large part from Paul. My mentor taught me that minor things matter (Show 461). It really helped me dial in a skill that served me very well in life and in business.
My love of art came from my Fine Arts teacher in high school.
My love for camping came from my dad and the scouting movement.
My passion for music comes from my family, friends, and later my college professors.
We’ve talked about legacy quite a bit over the years. It all drives us to some degree in what we do. This is how someone or someplace’s legacy lives on. It lives within you and shines when you go and make an impact on the world. If you have an opportunity, I would encourage you to reach out to one or two of those people over the next couple of weeks to let them know their impact on you. That affirmation and reminder may be just what the other person needs right now.
You are currently someone’s flame
At this point, we’ve looked at people and places’ impact on you. But the concept isn’t a one-way illustration – you are also currently the flame for someone else and a flame for your community.
How bright? How Hot? How bright you shine all depends on your intentionality. I had a mismatched flame while I lived in Tyler, Texas. I moved there to learn under Paul, but I didn’t get involved in the community like I should have. 10 months later, we were moving to another state. While my flame was bright in my personal relationships there, I was not intentional with the community. It was a spark at best. What do you want to show up more for? How do you want people to remember you? Even if you’ve been in a community or with a group of people for a long time, it’s never too late to bring more intention to your actions.
Reverse the Flame tips. The four tips above for your flame comes with the understanding of maximizing your takeaways and value from the other person and community. Now reflect on those tips from the perspective of pouring back into others. How you handle those tips from a receiver and a giver perspective may be a bit different.
No doubt, there is someone in your life relying on you for your influence right now. It may be a co-worker going through a hard time or learning a new role, someone in your personal life you are helping shape their identity, or someone in the community who is better off because of your intentions. Burn as bright and hot as you can while the circumstances are where they are.
What will you do with your dash?
A year after writing “The End?” as the placeholder for the show, I changed the name of the show to “The Dash” and, for four years, had planned to write an entirely different show focused on your personal legacy. It wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago that I made a last-minute pivot to focus on personal relationships and the concept of The Flame is Gone, the Fire Remains.
The dash is a callout to a tombstone. It shows your birthday and the day of your death, with only a dash separating the two. Your whole life story sits on that one character. While you can’t control either one of the dates, you do have full control of your dash.
No matter your lifestage, I encourage you to keep the legacy that you want to leave as a top-of-mind priority that drives how you show up in work and in life in general. Your community will be a better place because of you. Your business will be stronger because of your impact, and those that you care about will be better people because of you.
My greatest hope for this show and our time together is that even though the fire is going out on our weekly show, the flame of what we’ve done together over the last 10 years lives on in you. It’s the premise of the show since the beginning – today, we pass the baton on to you, our fellow baton-carrier, for you to pass on to others.
Make a better tomorrow. -ZH
**** Thank you for 10 years! I have been so honored to be a part of the journey with you, whether you’ve been with us from the start or just joined us recently as a reader and/or listener. You’ll still be able to find all of our show’s written content at Passingthebatonpodcast.com and a curated list at zackhudson.com. Neha and I have already been in talks on what the future of PTB looks like, and while we aren’t ready to share details yet, we do know a couple of things. – I’m taking a writing sabbatical after 10 years without a break, and we are excited to see what a new format could look like in the future.
One of the biggest “a-has” moments in leadership is understanding the idea of “altitude.” As a leader, you deal with many different groups: your team, your leader(s), peers, board members, customers, and more. (See more at our 360 Leader Series – Shows 432-434) Each of these relationships and touchpoints requires a different approach. Like a pilot, leaders have to adjust to their altitude and adapt their engagement styles to fit the audience in order to maximize their effectiveness and success as a leader.
Being able to adapt one’s approach based on who you’re talking to is key to being a great leader. While that seems like an easy statement to say and live out, I’ve seen it impact a person’s effectiveness in a bad way at all levels of leadership. Today, we’ll look at tips to ensure you are flying at the right altitude with the people you are interacting with.
Discussions, directives, and decisions
For a new people leader or even a new leader leading in a different role, part of the adjustment is learning how to best engage with your team. You must clearly distinguish between discussions, directives, and decisions. It’s important for the leader to set a clear tone for those around them:
Discussions operate at lower altitudes, seeking opinions, input, and consensus. These conversations can be very collaborative in nature.
Examples: During a brainstorming session, you are working through the programming for a highly visible event at the organization. Everyone shares their thoughts, and you might collectively decide on what the final agenda looks like. In another example, the team may come together to discuss how to improve customer relations & experience. People are contributing their ideas, and ultimately, you, as the leader, will choose which of those ideas the team implements.
Directives require leading at a higher altitude, where you exercise decision-making authority and align your team toward specific goals.
Example: After gathering input from your team, you decide to implement a new customer outreach and referral program. As the leader, you’re assigning the tasks, providing clear instructions, and setting deadlines and milestones on how to roll out each phase. In another example, you are directing your team on all the checklists and procedures in order to close down your operations for the evening.
Decisions are where the responsibilities fall. At every organization, people make decisions of varying magnitudes. In those critical moments, the leader is the one who decides.
Example: After reviewing all the data and team recommendations, you decide to pivot the team’s strategy and activities. You have the team start doing new things and quit doing other things. You are the decision maker as the leader, and you’ll need to take full responsibility for its success or failure. A leader shouldn’t delegate decision-making for the big things; that’s a core aspect of leadership.
The altitude adjustment comes down to making it clear to the team whether it is a decision, a directive, or a discussion. Operating at different altitudes means effectively managing these areas well, and requires careful attention to your leadership altitude to maintain effective management and team engagement.
Communicating at different altitudes
Communicating effectively means adjusting how you talk based on who you’re talking to. When you’re presenting to your leader or a high-stakes group like an executive team, you need to be more strategic and provide the right amount of detail.
Years ago, I did a show with Aman Agarwal (Show 254). He’s a very sharp leader, and we discussed the topic of technical leaders, those who are experts in their field, struggling with communicating effectively with higher-level leaders. Leaders can often miss the mark when communicating with different groups. Discussions, directives, and decisions may come more naturally, but being mindful of what we are presenting, in what way, and with what level of candor is something harder to balance. As you are preparing for your presentation, ask yourself:
Is the material covering information at the right level? Is it too in the weeds, or is there not enough detail?
Is my audience well-versed in the topic, or do I need to relate things in a way that translates better for others to follow?
Does my tenor, physical appearance, match the tone of the presentation and the people in the room?
When you are with a high-level leader, you may tailor the message for that specific person. For an external message, your message may be broader in detail, while communicating in a professional but easy-to-understand way. When it comes down to it, you need to change how you communicate to be most effective with different audiences.
“Flying” at different altitudes
Some leaders excel while working at one altitude but struggle with other heights. For example, a leader might be a rock star leading their team, but struggle with leading up to their network of leaders and stakeholders. A single-altitude approach can doom one-dimensional leaders to not reaching their potential, impacting the business in a negative way, and ultimately may cost them their jobs.
How to master altitude adjustments
Self-Assessment: Self-awareness is key. Identify your natural altitude preference (60,000 feet, 30,000 feet, or 10,000 feet). This will help you recognize your strengths and weaknesses at different altitudes. Take the self-reflection further by understanding what your challenges and preferences are at each level. Perhaps one level intimidates you, while you feel very comfortable at another level.
Audience Understanding: Know your audience. When you understand the needs and preferences of different audiences, you can adapt your communication style and content accordingly. Seek to learn what those specific preferences are for key people that you communicate with are in order to better deliver your message.
Strategic Delegation: Know your limitations. Once you know and acknowledge your limitations in certain altitudes, you can identify team members who excel at different altitudes as an offset and delegate those responsibilities to leverage others’ strengths. You can’t be everywhere at once, so leverage the unique skills of your team to help carry the load.
No leader is perfect at every level, but it’s important that you have everything covered in your role. Reflect on your layers this week to see where you can focus some attention, where your team can step in to help fill a need, and how you need to adapt your leadership and communication along the way. Doing so will make you a great leader who can fly at all altitudes.
Ever feel like your workday never really ends because of late-night emails or weekend messages? Welcome to the always-on culture that is quietly eroding your (and the team’s) well-being.
Researchers dove into the topic in a study of 315 full-time U.S. employees, published in the Journal of Communication Management. Their findings were exactly what you can imagine here: Just the expectation of being reachable off-hours is enough to cause stress, burnout, and tension at home, even if employees don’t actually respond. Always-on work culture might look productive on the surface, but it comes at a high cost: employee burnout, strained relationships, and lower engagement.
Quality of time and why it matters
The American Psychological Association conducted a survey over a decade ago and found that more than half of American employees were already checking work messages at least once over the weekend. It’s a long-standing problem that has only gotten worse as new technology offers new opportunities to creep into our personal time.
All the leave, paid time off, or vacation days don’t mean a thing if an employee doesn’t feel like they truly have the time off. They may be physically away, but mentally and emotionally, they are still tied to their work. Forward-thinking companies are now thinking about paid time away, and even personal time during the week, differently. They are not just focusing on the time, but more importantly, the quality of that time. How is the quality of time off in your workplace?
Do you get after-hours instant messages, emails, texts, or calls? How many on average?
How many times did those messages disrupt your time?
How many did you respond back to?
How many times do you hear from someone when they were supposed to be enjoying time off?
Did you ever see a person at a meeting when they were supposed to be off? Was the meeting one that warranted the behavior, or could they have missed it?
These self-assessment questions are a great starting point to understand where the problem is and how severe it may be.
Lead through the opportunity
There is good news when it comes to an always-on culture. You have a high amount of influence on fixing the problem. This doesn’t mean that you start a rule today of absolutely no after-hours messages, or putting the rest of the team at risk when a serious matter comes up unexpectedly. It means being intentional and clear about expectations, so your team can breathe, recharge, and maintain a strong level of well-being.
Some tips to consider as you begin to set the right tone with your team:
Set the tone with boundaries: As a leader, your team takes cues from you. Communicate what those boundaries are and avoid sending non-urgent messages after hours. Schedule emails to go out during work hours or keep them in your draft folder instead. One of the first things that I cover with a new associate is the expectation in this area. My rules for the team are:
It’s ok to work after hours, but save any communication in your drafts or schedule them to send.
Be mindful and considerate of people in other time zones.
It’s ok to communicate with someone in off-hours, but make sure that it’s something that warrants the reach out and a topic that can’t wait until the next business day.
“What about a co-worker who is a fellow night owl?” is a question I get sometimes. If that’s the case and both are ok with it, I’ll typically let them do their thing. I also check in to ensure that they aren’t overusing that time and that they are taking care of their time in other ways. Simple guidelines reduce ambiguity and guilt.
Make it safe to unplug: Let your team know they’re not expected to be “on” 24/7. Build that expectation with your team as well, because you won’t be truly effective in this change if you aren’t reaching out in off-hours, but the team is constantly peppering each other with questions and asks while a person is out. You’ll find it helpful to understand what types of questions the team is reaching out for and then do some additional training or knowledge transfer to better equip the rest of the team.
Check in on your team agreement: Boundaries are never a set-it-and-forget-it item. You need to check in periodically to ensure things are still in a healthy place. Have a quick discussion about communication expectations from time to time. Are we doing ok internally in our own team? Is the team getting pulled in after hours from a particular group or person? Having this knowledge helps you understand with whom you need to have a follow-up discussion.
What about other groups that you can’t directly influence?
You may work in a larger organization where you can influence a respectable number of people or teams, but you can’t fix it for the whole organization. Don’t lose hope here! You can still make a meaningful difference in those that you lead. I’m going to give some proactive advice here for those that you can’t influence and still send after-hours messages that are of low importance and of little consequence.
Don’t respond until the next business day. This one can be really tough! You may feel a sense of obligation, or you just want to get the email out of your inbox as quickly as possible so you don’t have to deal with it later. When someone sends you an email late into the night and you send a quick response, do you know what you just told the other person? “It’s ok to send me something late, and I’ll still get back to you.” You’ve now set a precedent and given the person the go-ahead to continue in their bad behavior.
Have an honest conversation with the person. If you have the rapport and trust with the other person, have an open and honest conversation about their behavior and the impact that it is having on those with whom they interact with. More than likely, they are damaging other relationships, and they may not even realize it. Although it may be a difficult and awkward conversation, it’s one worth having for the betterment of the other person.
Respecting personal time isn’t just a perk—it’s a leadership responsibility. If you want people to bring their best selves to work, you have to give them space to not work and the freedom to rest and recharge.
You’ve likely experienced a moment when someone says the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time. It can be weird and awkward and ultimately costly for the other person. We all can benefit from being better communicators at work and in life in general. Today we’ll look at the big moments, and the small, and help you think through the three types of conversations that will ultimately make you a better communicator, and one that not only avoids those awkward moments, but thrives in building connection and getting their message across.
Don’t miss the moment
Too often, leaders think the big-impact moments are the all-hands meetings or client pitches. However, what influences others the most is “micro-moments,” those conversations that sit in the smaller moments and take just a few minutes. These smaller conversations are the building blocks, or destroyers, of trust.
Micro-moments tend to be hidden inside the marquee moments. Think about an interview or meeting a person for the first time. That first 5-minute impression is going to make all the difference, even more so than the rest of the purpose of the meeting. In sales, it may not be the entire sales pitch, but the curiosity in the first question you ask. In personal connections, it may be slowing down to listen and empathize with the other person.
The three types of conversations to master
I don’t know anyone who would say, “I want to be worse at communication.” It’s an area that we never quite arrive in; instead, we keep honing our craft and polishing our approach as we shoot for the impossible goal of being perfect. Here are three types of conversations that, when focused on, will help you elevate your communication game.
Personal
These are the relationship-nourishing chats, from check-ins to reconnections, and even those tough life-building, vulnerable discussions. In the workplace, the personal can often be left out in favor of getting through a work topic or a list of updates.
From shallow to deep: One of the secrets to a great personal connection is a thoughtful follow-up question. When a person shares something, do you acknowledge it and move on to the next thing, or do you take it a step deeper by seeking to learn more? You are accomplishing several things here: You are showing the other person that you are interested in them. You are building a deeper level of trust and rapport, and you are showing an elevated level of EQ as you prioritize the other person above yourself.
What part is the personal playing in your work discussions?: Are you intentional in including a bit of personal connection in your meetings and one-on-one times? With meetings galore and a list of things to cover in a short amount of time, it can be easy to skip over. For one-on-ones, it’s a great way to start out the conversation. It shows you care and are interested in the person above the work, and ensures that you are always making that connection. For group discussions, focus on the types of questions that you are asking the group. “Did anyone do anything fun this weekend?” may not get much of a response back, but a focused twist on the question, “What was your favorite part of your weekend?” brings out more opportunity for people to share.
Leadership
Stepping up in leadership is one of the topics that we consistently return to at Passing the Baton. These conversations include giving feedback, aligning vision, or repairing trust. With fewer natural in-person run-ins, these must be created with purpose.
Go in with a plan: No matter your level of comfortability with improvisation when speaking to others, always plan through the key points that you want to share when having a difficult conversation with others. Here is a real way that a tough conversation can go if you head into the interaction with the “I’m just going to wing it” mentality.
-You begin the conversation, it meanders a bit, and you miss one of the key points of the conversation. -The person responds in a way that you hadn’t considered, and you improvise some more. This takes you further off course. -The other person reacts to the change in direction. -Now you react again to the other person, further taking you off-topic. -Rinse and repeat the back and forth. -By the end, you are both at your wits’ end. You’ve only further eroded the relationship and can’t realistically expect any kind of behavior change from the person, because they haven’t accepted the feedback that you wanted to give.
Not ideal! You’ve likely seen that conversation play out several different ways in both your personal and professional life. You don’t necessarily have to have a script for every conversation, but you should always have a plan:
-What are the key points that you want to get across? -What is the reason for the meeting? -What time frame do they need to correct the behavior or action? -What is the best place or environment to have the conversation? -What are some ways that they may react? Are you mentally prepared for those reactions?
Resources to support difficult conversations and coaching
These conversations include those high-stakes business moments like sales, negotiations, collaborations, and executive meetings. These moments will make or break progress in a big way.
Prepare, prepare, prepare: There are a lot of things going on in these important moments. Who are the people in the room? What is the focus? What is the niche thing a person always asks about in the room? How knowledgeable are they on the subject matter? Lots of X factors at play at once! Think through your presentation, anticipate the questions that the audience will ask, and remember that how you physically present yourself matters as well. Rehearse so well that you can go off-script. It’s not about being rigid, but about caring enough to bring your best self to the moment.
Know your audience: Everything about my presentations changes depending on the audience. I may present to one executive in a plan colored t-shirt and have a more conversational approach with high-level information because that’s their style and what they prefer. For another, it’s always a minimum of collared shirts, and I come armed with loads of data and backup slides to give us the ability to flex into deep dives around a particular topic. My team can often guess who I have meetings with based on what I’m wearing that day. Take time to learn what is important to your leader or client and use your observation skills to see the unspoken context of what expectations may be.
Each of these conversations requires different energy, timing, and tone. The common thread you should consider for all three types: Prepare yourself and others, and come into each with the intent of adding value even in those small moments.
Put it into action
Pick one of each: a personal, a leadership, and a professional conversation you know you need to have. Now ask yourself:
What will be the real moment inside that moment?
How can I prepare the other person to be open to the moment?
What question, or tone, will set us up to succeed?
When it comes to engaging in an important conversation, don’t miss the small moments in an attempt to win the big ones. Winning might not mean changing your message; it may just come down to changing those micro-moments that matter.
Jell-O was a staple at our house growing up. Known more simply as gelatin or jelly in other parts of the world, this simple and classic treat is a fun and easy snack to enjoy with others. Jell-O might even be able to provide us with a reminder or two about leadership in the workplace and at home as well.
Simple is good
Jell-O is extremely simple and easy to make. Take the gelatin out of the package, add some boiling water, stir, add cold water, stir, refrigerate, and done. The treat is extremely easy to make, and that’s one of the reasons why it’s fun to make with children. It’s simple for them to do and hard to ruin or mess up.
The simplicity of Jell-O is a constant reminder that I need for myself and my team. I’ve seen high-performing individuals and teams go all in to tackle a problem, and in doing so, bring a giant PowerPoint presentation and complex interventions to meet the need. “If one solution will help mitigate the problem, surely 5 solutions will do even more?”
A term I use with my stakeholders and problem solvers is that simplicity wins over polish or process. Your end user will almost always prefer some simple and easy to use compared to something that is slick but complicated to navigate. Simplicity really applies to all areas, not just technology and interface solutions. A simple cadence on a calendar (Every first Monday is our Executive townhall), an easy way to check job openings, and a simple process to get the required work done go a long way.
Avoid the temptation of over-complicating your solutions and work. Your stakeholders and clients will appreciate it.
Be moldable
Jell-O molds! A simple search on the internet will give you nearly endless options of gelatin molds as you make your next treat. They were all the rage growing up. Who didn’t want to eat a gelatin R2-D2? One of the pluses of Jell-O is that it’s truly moldable to be whatever you want it to be.
Having the ability to be moldable is important to be a great leader and a wonderful citizen in your community. I think what is perhaps even more important, and difficult, is the ability to stay modlable throughout your career and life. You are typically much more open to feedback, knowledge transfer, and adaptable when you are younger and eager to grow or fit in. As you get older, it becomes easier to get set in habits, biases, and ways of work and living. Some of that is due to beginning to feel comfortable and not feeling the need to stay nimble. Other times, past success lends itself to becoming less moldable. Why change a winning formula?
Staying moldable means:
Flexibility and adaptability: Check yourself on your reactions to change that has recently occurred in your personal and professional life. How did you do? How resistant were you? What did you learn, or what skill did you gain?
Openness to learning: Speaking of learning and skills, what have you learned just in your regular life journey? Are things stale, or have you chased curiosity?
Resilience: How well, or not so well, did you weather a setback? Do you handle setbacks differently? Perhaps you have led through a big change at work well, but get overly frustrated at home during a small inconvenience. Your resilience can look different in different scenarios and environments.
Follow the rules…. or not
My mom could make us this fruit cocktail mix of gelatin and mixed fruit, and put them in these little glass containers for us to enjoy in the fridge. You wouldn’t find that unique mix in the recipe box. Some people put fruit in theirs, others add things like candy and even vegastables, while others will freeze it for a new, exciting consistency.
My mentor Paul Herman shared an illustration that to 20 years later, still resonates with me. He told the story of a good sports coach who helped the players play their position to the best of their abilities but was also open enough to allow their personalites and skillsets to shine. The coach wasn’t concerned if someone was a little showy, if one took the most direct route possible, and a third focused on speed instead of strength. As long as all of them understood the rules and could get a score, the other stuff didn’t matter as much.
There is certainly some maturity in that style of leadership – to let others shine, even if it means letting go of some of your personal preferences. Sometimes it’s ok to go out and try something new as long as you stay within the basic parameters expected for success.
Keep it simple, remain moldable, and remember that it’s ok to try new things in leadership and life. Be like Jell-O – a simple treat for others to enjoy.
Music has always been a part of my life. Music has always played in our house. I’ve been a performing musician who has been lucky enough to have my songs on the radio, and I’ve seen well over 500 bands over the years. Passing the Baton’s history is also marked with music from Finding Leadership in Music to a couple of other Be Series shows called Be the Record (Show 367) and Be a Song (Show 420).
Today, we’ll take one more spin on the music topic with Be the guitar. Let’s look at how a block of wood can inspire us to be better leaders in work and in life.
Unseen tension brings everything in tune
Guitars can be beautiful instruments to look at, but below their visual appeal and artistry in their creation lies hidden tension that brings them to life. The backbone of the guitar is hidden away inside the neck – known as the truss rod. This piece provides just enough tension to keep the neck straight and true. Too much or too little tension from the truss rod can cause notes to buzz, and if the problem consists, it can even ultimately ruin the instrument. There is also separate tension for each string to bring it to the proper tuning. All of them have to be dialed in just right, otherwise even the best guitar will sound awful.
Life and leadership are often the same way – we balance multiple areas of tension in what we do inside and outside of work. For many, that tension may look like:
Meeting customer demands vs costs
speed vs quality
simplicity vs robust offerings
quality vs quantity
care vs capacity
leading others vs taking care of yourself
What tension areas are you balancing (or perhaps need to balance) in your work and personal life? Take time this week to identify these areas and work to bring harmony in those areas. It’s always great to get feedback from the people impacted by those points of tension to see if you are getting it right or if you and your team could improve.
One function, endless ways to get there
At the end of the day, guitars all do the same thing. They play notes and chords and output sound either acoustically or electronically. If you’ve even walked into a guitar store, you’ve likely seen a whole spectrum of otherring and options – different colors, shapes, pickups, types of wood used, and different hardware. I’m not sure it’s a point of pride or slight embarrassment that I currently have 8 different bass guitars at the house. Each one is different from the other in how they look, play, and feel. Ultimately, they all accomplish the same thing, carrying the low end of a band’s sound and musical register.
I’ve talked over the years about people over positions. The concept is that a position or role doesn’t hold much value. For the most part, there is nothing special or unique about the job, despite how we sometimes convince ourselves otherwise. A company can likely fill your role in a relatively short time if they have their act together. What makes all the difference is you, the person, and your unique skillset and perspective. There is only one you, and that is truly a very valuable resource.
Sometimes it’s tempting to change yourself or not live out your work or personal life authentically, because you are trying to fit into a group or meet someone’s expectations. If you find yourself not being able to embrace your personhood, ask yourself a hard question: “Is this dynamic healthy and good for me?” If it’s not, perhaps it’s time for a change. If it is, then be sure to be an advocate and support others to show up authentically as well.
They can transform the person who welds them
I love playing music, and as funny as it may sound, I feel a sense of calling to be a conduit for the crowd to connect to the music and to the message of the song. Even today, I’m known to jump around and move back and forth across a stage space, yell out the lyrics, and give everything I have during our time sharing music with others. I joke that it almost feels like I blackout when we play; I don’t plan to do any of those things, and it all goes by in such a quick blur.
I also attend a lot of concerts every year. Am I that way in the crowd, or would I be that way on stage without my instrument? Absolutely not! For me, my guitar brings out one of the best versions of myself – one that is not self-critical or overthinks what I am doing in the moment.
Is your presence one that transforms others? I love bringing out the best in others, whether it’s helping a person meet their career aspirations or raise their capability to a level that they never thought possible. What small things can you do this week to elevate those around you – your co-workers, your leaders and those that you care about outside of work? Find one thing that you can do for a person in each of those three groups.
They require work and commitment to master
I mainly play the bass guitar, and it’s a deceptively easy instrument to play. Four strings, no complicated chords to learn, and you don’t need the same level of investment that you need for an electric guitar to get a great sound from it. All instruments require commitment and time investments for them to reach their fullest potential. In most pieces that I write today, I choreograph my notes, rhythms in a way that complements all of the other instruments and even the singers. In one song, I may play along with the piano, and I can do so because I learned music theory and understand that instrument’s capabilities. As the song picks up, I may switch over and mimic the bass drum patterns to make things feel really locked in. I can do this because I’ve studied rhythm patterns, have practiced percussion in order to know where the drummers are now and where they will be going as the song goes on. Finally, on the chorus, I may do a bit of my own thing and then hook into the melody of the singers to highlight what they are doing. It’s a complicated journey for a simple instrument.
Having those instincts and skills took time. I minored in jazz bass in college, and have played in many different styles of musical groups in my time as a musician. What do you want to be a rockstar in the back half of this year? Now is a great time to do a self-assessment of the goals that you set out for yourself at the start of the year and make adjustments to dial in the needed experience and learnings. Perhaps you’ve got the knowledge, but you could benefit from setting intentional time aside to hone your craft.
Enhance your leadership capability by being like the guitar – managing tension well, embracing your unique self, elevating those around you, and putting in the time and effort to play at the top of your capability.
