Last week, we talked about the chaos of literal and figurative storms that happen in our lives. This week, we’ll take it to the other end of the water spectrum. Imagine being at a nice, calm lake where the water is glassy smooth. It’s quiet with the exception of a few birds singing their morning songs. You pick up a stone and toss it into the water. That distinct deep plop sound breaks the silence, and then the ripples begin to spread out and break the stillness of the water.
In many ways, that action and event mimics what we do in life. We are constantly throwing stones in the lake called Life.
What are the ripples that we make?
We make ripples every day in what we do by how we show up in our environments, and the choices that we are constantly making. At times, ripples can be those big “throw a giant rock in the water” events. For me, highlights from my career, including erasing the gender gap in leadership at multiple organizations, certainly fall into that category. Those types of moments can feel like a giant boulder hitting the water, impacting the land below, and ultimately changing the makeup of the lake forever.
Not all ripples are boulder-sized. Larger rocks may include items like a long weight loss journey, securing a sizeable budget for a project, or successfully wrapping up an educational achievement. Smaller ripples may include things like establishing a great working relationship with an individual, nailing a big test at school, or finishing that garden project in your backyard.
You are constantly causing ripples in your personal life, in your work environment, and even in those that you know and care about on a consistent basis.
Ripples require an intentional act
When I would camp with my son when he was in Cub Scouts, we always had a tradition of walking down to the lake first thing, and throwing and skipping rocks in the lake. He would go along the edge of the lake picking out the perfect rocks – flat and smooth rocks for skipping and large, heavy rocks to make a big splash. We’d then do our best to see how many skips we could get with a rock or how many ripples we could get with a big rock. As much fun as we had, none of it was by accident. We intentionally went to the lake. We sought out the right kinds of rocks. How we threw them in changed depending on what we wanted them to do. A fun and memorable moment filled from end to end with intent.
The biggest ripples will always come from intent. Think about some of the highlights of your career or best moments from your personal life. They likely are filled with intent as well. Some actions that can give you clarity and focus on creating impactful ripples include:
Set a clear goal of what you are trying to achieve – A strong point of reference and vision will help you in those tough and challenging times.
Focus on one or two things – Find those couple of actions “rocks” that you want to work on in order that make a difference. Focusing on too many things may result in very few or none coming into existence. Be sure that the thing that you focusing on is realistic to achieve.
Focus on consistency – Practice getting in the zone and becoming consistent in change actions or changes instead of trying to start off with something massive that can become overwhelming and ultimately prevent you from being successful. An example of this in your personal life may be to focus on eating one healthy meal a day instead of losing 10 lbs in a week.
Practice kindness and compassion to others and yourselves – It often takes a lot of effort to lift that big rock and drop it in the water to make a big splash. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it! Be sure to take time to check in with your team and working group as you work towards success. They’ll need reminders of the Why of the work and may need different or additional resources or help as time goes on. Don’t forget yourself along the way as well! Be kind to yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself as those setbacks come your way.
Areas to consider “tossing your rocks” in:
Social and community needs
Volunteering and impact
Your personal well-being and self-care
Impact on your business
Impact on the customer
Impact on your employees
A GPA goal in school
Graduating or completing the course in a certain timeframe
X number of achievements or recognition by graduation
Ripples don’t last forever
For better or worse, ripples don’t last forever. They become less pronounced as they move further and further away from the point of impact until they blend into the stillness of the rest of the water.
Poor decisions and impact: Thankfully, this illustration gives us hope in those times that we make poor decisions that have a ripple effect in our lives. Time certainly has a way of smoothing situations out, and in the workplace, there is likely a larger ripple that minimizes or even erases your ripple. When you make a poor choice ripple remember a couple of things: 1) That more than likely the impact won’t last forever, even when it stings today. 2) One wrong decision or action doesn’t stop you from learning and making a positive impact in the future.
For positive impacts: It feels good to be a part of something that makes a big impact and has a far-reaching ripple effect! For high performers, it’s often of of the types of assignments or work that they chase the most. When those moments come, it’s important to celebrate, but it’s also important to remember that you can’t ride that success forever. I can think of many impactful things I accomplished in my 10 years since Passing the Baton started, that people don’t remember anymore. In the fast-paced world that we live in, it may only take 10 months instead of 10 years for people to forget the impact and ripples that you made.
You can’t create just one ripple and expect long-lasting success. You’ve got to be intentional to keep tossing those proverbial stones that create consistent ripples of impact. Your portfolio of success will leave a lasting legacy, and you’ll help smooth out those mistakes and missteps in the process as well.
Stay intentional to keep making ripples that positively impact your work life and personal lifestyle. You have nearly limitless potential to make a difference in your community and in others in a life-changing way. Your ripples matter, so make sure that they are ones that you are proud of.
The flashes of light. The clap and rumble of thunder. Storms make themselves known as they begin to move through a community. You may associate storms with trouble or even a cleansing event. Much like challenges and trouble that makes its way into our personal and professional lives, sometimes you get an impending feeling of dread as you feel it approaching, or it happens suddenly out of nowhere. Today, we’ll look at storms and how they can influence how we lead ourselves and others.
Prepare for the storm, even in the sunny days
Last year, we had a really heavy storm roll through our community, dumping a month’s worth of rain in just a couple of days. It was so bad that we got water in our basement. We’d been in our house for a couple of years at that point and had never experienced this issue before. We did our best to mitigate the problem, and once we storm was over, I began investigating what led to the problem. What I found was a clogged gutter that had resulting in concentrated amounts of water overwhelming the corner of the house….. the area right above the basement where the water had come in.
It had been sunny and rain-free for quite a while before the storm came, and I never thought to check and clean the gutters. When the problem suddenly showed up, it was too late.
Sometimes when things are great, whether it’s in business or in our own personal lives, it can be easy to relish those moments and get comfortable. As I was reminded during my basement incident, the best time to prepare for a storm is when it’s sunny outside.
Areas to consider as you prepare for that next storm:
Work
Take time to audit your team and its processes. What’s running well and what needs need to be addressed to make things better or more efficient?
Check in on employee engagement and sentiment. How are people feeling? What are their thoughts on the future of the team and org? What is their trust level of their leaders?
Check in on costs and investments. Are things still healthy and true? What new investments need to be made and resources re-routed to better support the future?
Personal
How are those relationships with those that you care most about? Is there someone that you haven’t connected with in a while that you need to reach out to? Do you need to invest some quality time with a person?
How are you feeling emotionally, spiritually, and physically? Are there steps that you can take to raise your level of self-care and well-being?
How are finances and your sense of security? How prepared are you for an unexpected challenge or expense when it hits?
Communicate well with others during the storm
I have a love-hate relationship with storms. I enjoy a good downpour and even thunderstorms. It can be a calming experience or a great reminder of the power of nature, depending on the storm’s severity. I’ve also nearly had my life ended a few times due to storms, so there’s that!
I once camped with a group of scouts out at a farm in Louisiana in the springtime. We had seen that there was a potential for some rain, but nothing too bad was forecasted. That night, the storm really had picked up, and it was becoming pretty scary with just a nylon tent separating us from the violent winds and rain. We suddenly heard our scoutmaster yelling for us. “Leave everything behind, we are evacuating to the barn!” We quickly threw on rain jackets and ended up spending the night in the hay and dirt inside the big barn that was on the farm.
The next morning, we returned to our campsite to see that nothing was there. It was all gone! After searching for a while, we found all of our tents and gear tangled up in a fence nearly a half mile away.
Storms can be scary and overwhelming for people at times. When those moments happen, it’s an important moment for you as the leader to step up and help guide others.
Be clear, concise, and intentional – The scoutmaster didn’t beat around the bush. Get up, get out, and evacuate to the barn, was all that needed to be said in our instructions.
Be a steady voice for those who are unsure or frightened – People will likely look to you for reassurance during these troubling and concerning situations. Be transparent and share what you can with others, and be caring and empathetic once you are out of immediate danger.
Communicate well through your non-verbals – Whether you are leading people in a virtual environment or it’s an in-person incident, people will be watching you. Be mindful of your non-verbal communications during these times, to ensure you are presenting yourself that is reassuring to others.
The cleanup is never fun, but necessary
Cleaning up after a big storm is never fun. I can’t say that I enjoyed moving a bunch of stuff in my basement and then drying everything out after the big rain. Picking up all the rain-soaked and torn gear caught in the fence in my scouting days wasn’t among the funnest things I’ve done either. Regardless, both were necessary. Some areas to consider as you work through clean-up from any kind of storm include:
The people- You need to check in on your people during physical storms, but you also do so during those proverbial storms that happen in work and life as well. How are they handling things after the incident? What support do they need to get back on their feet?
Assessing the damage – What damage has been done outside of the initial incident that led to even more trouble that you can fix now?
Work example: The storm may be due to a layoff situation, but some more trouble and drama was caused because a leader did not handle themselves well as the process was rolled out.
Home example: An unexpected medical incident has happened to someone you care about. You handled the initial situation well, but the stress of the situation and the impending costs caused you to make some poor decisions that impacted you and others along the way.
One of my former pastors once shared a statement that has resonated with me to this day. “You are either coming out of a storm in life, you are currently in one, or you are heading towards one.” That’s just life. Learn and internalize those leadership and life lessons that come from the storms in life so that you are better prepared for when the next one happens.
It was an unusually cold and windy day in the Spring as my family navigated the twist and turns up the road to Lookout Mountain Flight School in the Appalachian Mountains. I was there to be attached to a kite (aka glider) and be thrown off the mountain; also known as hang gliding. There were already a couple of solo flyers at the top ramp when we arrived, waiting for the wind to die down so that it would be safe to fly.
As we checked in, the host informed us that is was likely going to be a significant delay because of the expected continued wind. She offered an alternative for us if we didn’t want to wait; we could go back down the mountain, and they would hook the glider to the back of a small plane, tow me up in the sky, and cut the rope.
Perhaps too trusting, or at least not considering all the potentially catastrophic things that could happen, we made our way back down the mountain. As wild as this experience had already started out, I was fully taking stock and enjoying the moment, and even through all the unknown there were some good leadership reminders to be had from a hang-gliding session.
Do your pre-flight checks
Once at the landing site, we met our crew. There was the instructor who would fly with me, the pilot who would tow us up, and a flight director who coordinated flights, communications, and safety. We had a second safety briefing and went through all the gear and equipment needed for the flight. Once the gear and glider inspection was complete, my instructor took some time to teach me how we were going to fly the thing.
When I’m doing these types of new or perhaps crazy experiences, I’m typically very casual and have a just-go-for-it mindset. Even with skydiving or participating in a running of the bulls, I remind myself; “You’ll be fine. You just need to put one foot in front of the other and pay attention to what’s going on around you.” I was happy that day that the crew was slowing us down to thoroughly cover everything. It certainly gave me a feeling of safety and I was confident that I could do what needed to be done once we were up in the air.
There are temptations at times, especially once you get comfortable in a subject or part of your business, to relax your preparation and checks and balances. If it’s important, take the time to slow down and make sure everything is good to go before you jump into that big meeting, or presentation or even just head out the door.
Prepare for the release
Being towed from a plane is wild. The sudden acceleration, kicking up the dirt and grass, and then feeling the pull of the plane as you get off the ground. It was something! Once in the air, the dynamic shifts dramatically. It’s much calmer as the forces even out and even becomes a surprisingly smooth ride as we go higher and higher.
“Get ready for the drop when he cuts the rope!” My instructor yelled at me over the aircraft noise in front of us.
Just a moment later the pilot cut the rope and the feeling honestly took my breath away; the sudden change in force from being pulled and connected to the plane to suddenly not along with the resulting dip from the glider was a lot to experience.
You may not have had a chance to go hang-gliding yet, but you’ve likely experienced that moment before a big moment. I feel it as a sense of calm and then determination before a Tough Mudder Race (Show 444), nervous energy before going on stage to play music, and a sense of excitement before a big presentation. How I prepare for each of those is different, but regardless of the approach, I make sure that I am mentally ready to get going.
Acknowledging the final moments before an important experience is key to a great and successful start. How do you prepare for the release? Do you prepare yourself mentally and just haphazardly go into the moment? Do your best to get yourself into the correct, healthy head space before you step into the big moment.
Enjoy the ride
The ride down was incredible. My instructor flew us for a while reiterating what he taught me on the ground, we flew together, and then I had the chance to flow the glider myself.
“What do you think?” The Instructor asked.
“It’s amazing!” That’s all I could get out.
It was amazing. The cool air, the quietness, the views, it was a lot to take in. I was doing my best to soak in the experience and enjoy every single second in the air. It’s a great reminder to me to enjoy the moments you have, even the small things because you never know when those dynamics change. Early in my career, we moved around quite a bit chasing promotions and business needs. We lived in one of those places for 9 months before moving again and really had a lot of regrets about not doing more things in the community and surrounding area. We went in with the assumption that we would have more time. From that move forward, we leaned all in on the places where we lived and haven’t had regrets since. That same mindset changed how I dealt with relationships and opportunities as well.
Be fully engaged in the moment that you are in, because that’s all that you are guaranteed. That moment. If you are one who quickly moves on to the next thing or doesn’t take the time to slow down and appreciate things, try to make time this week to do just that. Here are some activities that can help you appreciate your current lifestage and situations.
Make a list of things in your community that you want to do and haven’t yet. Places to eat, local attractions, festivals, parks and trails, and entertainment places are all areas to consider.
Make a gratitude list. What are you thankful for today? What is impacting that list now, that wasn’t there a few years ago?
Before we went up, the flight director asked me if I wanted to do the highest altitude possible for a small upcharge, they could also take video and pictures from the flight. Now I know this is retail 101, to upcharge and get a little bit more out of your customer. If you know that you are about to go on a unique journey and experience, particularly one that you may never go on again, don’t short yourself and give yourself a chance to get the most enjoyment and memories from the time.
This is a lesson that I keep having to learn, unfortunately. Sometimes like on the hang-gliding trip, I made the right choice and I’m still happy I spent the extra bit of money. On the other hand, I recently traveled across the country for a race, I cut my travel as cheap as possible and even cut short the trip by a day. I should have given myself the space to enjoy the trip more. Give yourself that extra level of love and care to ensure that the experience is all that you had hoped it to be.
Back on the ground, I was very thankful for the experience and what it had given me. As you go on your own adventures in life, remember to prepare well beforehand, prepare yourself mentally for the time of action, and give yourself the best chance to enjoy the experience.
It’s a cold 40 degrees on a slightly foggy overcast morning. I’m standing in chest-high water looking at this slick triangle block that is blocking my path. A voice comes from the other side,
“Grab the top!”
I jump up and hang from the edge while two guys also jump up and hang from the top on the other side. They use their weight to rotate the block, and me, over the top and to the other side. I had just found my new best friends for the next 6 miles. Having never met, we naturally all stuck together making sure that each made it successfully to the finish line.
I’ve been in and out of the obstacle course racing scene for almost 15 years at this point. I became interested in them back when they were just a novelty because I loved the challenge and wanted something to push me to get better health-wise. I said I would never complete something like a half marathon because of the monotony and the obstacles were a great way to break up the distance. From amateur to sponsored runner, and back again, I’ve been reminded of great leadership lessons while out on the course.
You are most successful when you leverage teamwork
I absolutely love Tough Mudder. I often describe it as the most pure example of teamwork that I have ever experienced. No matter where I have run them or over what distance, teamwork just shows up. Even when a race is competitive for cash prizes people will go out of their way to help others. In fact, some will pay to go an endurance race lasting 8+ hours just so that they can station themselves at an obstacle to help people through it. Some examples that I’ve seen include:
A team assisting a person in a wheelchair through the course. This particular course had an electrical obstacle, two of the highest points in the state to climb, vertical walls, and more.
A man staying up all night sitting the chair position against a near vertical wall helping every runner get over the wall and into a net.
Countless people sacrifice their race time and distance goals in order to slow down to help those people whom they have never met before.
It’s a great reminder to me that we are all better when we are willing to give up a little piece of our own ambition and energy to ensure that others get to the finish line too. Some good self-reflection questions you can ask yourself about setting aside your own ambitions for your team may include
Who has given up something (time, money, priorities) to help you out recently?
Who have you sacrificed something for recently?
Who in your personal and professional circle could use your help right now?
Be willing to get dirty
One thing is guaranteed at these races and that is that you are going to get muddy. You just have to embrace it when it happens! It’s usually not a one-and-done either; many race directors love to get you muddy, then get you wet, and then get you back muddy again. Then repeat that cycle for the entire race.
It’s easy to distinguish the new people from the seasoned vets at the local and regional level once that first muddy obstacle comes up. The new ones take their time analyzing the best approach, typically taking it slower and doing what they can to minimize the dirt impact, while the seasoned folks just go for it. They don’t care and actually will embrace it as they fly through the muddy portion.
As a leader and team member, you’ve got to be willing to jump into the work and get dirty, embracing the chaos, that the work, problem, or challenge holds. For leaders who fall for a sense of arrival and feel like they have earned the right to stay out of the “mud”, this will be a trait that will forever hold them back unless they can grow through it. For the new person on the team, help encourage and support them and they get into the thick of things for the first time. It can be an overwhelming, and confusing time for them.
Let go of your fears to achieve what you thought was impossible
I’ll often say that there really isn’t anything in life that I am truly afraid of at this point. Do I get nervous, anxious, or apprehensive at times? Absolutely. I’ve run 14 Tough Mudders and I can say I still get those feelings before each race. After getting 10k volts of electricity to my chest resulting in me dreaming about it 3 days later, feeling it again, and waking me up, I now have a respectful distaste for electricity. Even with that dislike, I got back out there.
I had a bad experience with an obstacle that was designed to lean into people’s fear of drowning. I nearly drowned once in a kayaking accident but this was something else entirely. Later in an endurance season that same year, this water torture obstacle was a required obstacle. Don’t do it and you are out. I had thought about it for weeks leading up to the race, and when the moment finally came to jump into the water-filled trench with a metal fence on top of it, I encountered a racer.
The racer was struggling and having a mental crisis moment of getting in. I stopped, talked her through how to do it and we went in together. It was a bit of a struggle but we both got through it. By the time I raced at the world championship, I was a pro at it and actually enjoyed it in a funny way because it was a chance to wash off and relax for a minute.
What fear or apprehension is holding you back today? Is it a conversation that needs to be had with someone important to you? Is it the fear of the unknown? Could it be a fear of failing? Take a moment to consider what worries, hesitations, and fears are holding you back. Then address them incrementally to help you conquer them and blaze a new and exciting path for yourself.
Appreciate your relationships when you have them
I was running a Tough Mudder Infinity event in Chicago in 2023. The premise is this: Do you think running one of these races is crazy? Keep doing it over and over and see how many you can knock out in 9 hours. I had just wrapped race 1 and had left the staging area to start race 2.
There was a guy walking by himself towards the start. I caught up to him and struck up a conversation. He had hurt his ankle and we were only about 1 1/12 hours in. I learned that his name was James and I decided to walk the rest of the day and do the rest of my races with him. I also found out that he was also an army vet and we discovered several other similar things and shared experiences as well. It was the perfect pairing. A great conversationalist, yet both of us were also content in the quietness of walking together through the corn fields and forest. He would help me on the walls and I would be there to help him get through the water and iced-filled trench that people struggle with.
We spent 6 hours together and completed 3 more races together that day. I haven’t seen James since. I don’t have his contact info or any of his socials. We had an incredible day of bonding and friendship and the end of the relationship concluded at the finish of the last race.
Life is crazy and sometimes secure relationships evaporate in an instant. As I have gotten older I’ve come to appreciate the relationships that I have in the moment. It probably causes me to be overly sentimental at times, but I am mindful to thank and appreciate those who are close to me.
Who do you need to appreciate today? What relationship are you thankful for as you read this or listen to our podcast?
Give yourself credit for being a good friend and/or partner for others. internalize what that relationship means to you and share thankfulness with them the next time that you see that person.
Obstacle course races can be a surprising place to learn leadership lessons, but I have found them to be a playground that shows the best of people and teaches us a lesson or two or leadership along the way.
Bullet time. Red pill, blue pill. Simulation vs. reality. The Matrix series was a cultural phenomenon in the late ’90s and early ’00s. It’s the story of Neo, a hacker who discovers that the world around him is a simulation created by machines to enslave humanity. With the help of others, Neo frees his mind and leads a fight against the system. The movies are full of metaphors and lessons about society as well as lessons on leadership.
It’s time to plug into the system and pull out some leadership lessons!
Seek alternate realities
One of the main themes of the film is the contrast between the false reality of the Matrix and the harsh truth of the real world. Morpheus challenges Neo to question his assumptions and beliefs and offers him a choice: to take the blue pill and remain ignorant or to take the red pill and see the truth. is the truth any less true for those still trapped in the matrix?
You may ask yourself, “How can these people believe what they believe when the truth is so obvious?” Perception is reality. A person that is all in on misinformed data, and solidifies the perception by isolating themselves to only include others who share the same view, doesn’t view themselves as wrong.
As a leader, you need to be willing to seek and accept alternative views of reality or the situation at hand, even if they are painful or uncomfortable. Be curious, open-minded, and courageous to explore different perspectives and possibilities. A well-rounded leader challenges their own perception (reality) at times to check themselves, “Is this the right take, or am I missing something that would make me more informed?”
There is no spoon
When Neo visits the Oracle, he encounters a young boy who appears to have the telekinetic ability to bend spoons with his mind. The boy tells him: “Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth… There is no spoon… Then you’ll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.”
The kid is going deep on Neo!
This is a metaphor for how Neo can overcome the limitations of the Matrix by changing his perception and mindset. Too often, leaders hear the phrases, “That’s impossible,” or “This is not going to work.” Very few things are impossible to accomplish in leadership if we don’t look at challenges as strictly black or white or right and wrong.
As a leader work to become flexible, adaptable, and creative in facing challenges and opportunities. Look for small wins instead of big wins if needed, “Well if we can’t do this, then what can we do to move forward?”
Overcome imposter syndrome
Throughout the film, Neo is presented with the idea that he is “The One”, a prophesied savior who can end the war between humans and machines. However, he struggles with self-doubt and skepticism; he doesn’t feel special. It’s not until he finally accepts his role that he is able to release his full potential.
Imposter syndrome can feel like you are stuck in your version of the matrix with no hope of getting out of it. It’s the deep-rooted feeling that you are not good enough, not qualified enough, or not worthy of leading or owning a particular thing. Not only are there 5 types of imposter syndrome (PTB 224) but the environment that you are in and the connections that you make also heavily influence this area.
Just like Neo, you can break free and reach your fullest potential as well. Here are some tips to begin working through imposter syndrome.
Talk it out with someone. Imposter Syndrome loves to live in isolation inside yourself. Talk out your feelings and thoughts with a trusted friend, advisor, or mentor.
Be kind to yourself. I have seen some of the kindest people beat themselves up for their perceived shortcomings. Give yourself the same forgiveness that you give others and be kind to yourself. Let someone besides yourself be your worst critic.
Understand that your thoughts and situation are not unique. Remember when you run into a bout of doubt that others are likely going through the same. Know that it’s not just you and that it’s temporary then step up and do well.
Learn from failure. To our Baton Carriers that are perfectionists; It’s okay to fail. You need to fail to keep learning and growing. Use failure as a learning opportunity and move on. Don’t dwell on failure for failure’s sake.
Go small. Focus on the smaller tasks and the accomplishments that come along with them instead of focusing on the larger issue. It can help you stay focused in a positive direction.
Challenge yourself. Take another look at how you perceive a particular topic, a body of work, or even other people. Adapt and be nimble as you make things that make the impossible, actually quite possible. Never forget, you are not an imposter. You were put into your role for a reason, and you are worthy and capable of stepping up to the challenge.
